Bikeless Bungling Boris Blasts Brick Lane Barrowboys

Amid his tears, Boris Johnson, future mayor of London Town, naturally concluded that his stolen machine would end up being sold in Brick Lane.
So Brick Lane is crawling with fences and hook-nosed chancers peddling hookier gear, eh Boris?
Surely that betokens some kind of Operation Bumbleboris from a putative mayor. A vicous crackdown and cleanup all in one go. At the very least, the Voters of London should be made fully aware of the dangers of this den of cutthroats and pickpockets. And not just offered a tantalising hint in a petulant paddy about a lost bike, which was probably not chained up properly
in the first place.
What next? Boris offers a bacon sandwich to a Jewish reporter? You heard it here first.
Boris In Tears