Bye Bye Gordon

You simply can’t insult little old ladies and win elections. It doesn’t matter if they are bigots, you have to schmooze them til it hurts, and remember to turn your mike off.
So that’s the end of that chapter. It means a Cameron government of some sort, and a hung parliament is a lot less likely now.
The only interesting question left is who makes the most from this? Clegg or Cameron?
How exactly will the tory and libdem party machines cash in on Brown’s disaster?
The overriding lesson to all members of double acts is, don’t try the solo career. It never works. It means the boarding house in Rhyl for you. And as for the straight stage – only if you want to play a tragic clown to patronising reviews. And that this massive flop should happen in Rochdale, as in the Rochdale Pioneers, the Godfathers of the English co-operative movement, is surely some sort of revenge by the gods of socialism at Brown’s heresies. His presence there was a little like flaunting the Golden Calf at the foot of Mt Sinai.
As far as tomorrow night’s planned appearance in Leaders Got Talent, he might as well turn up drunk and punch out cameron’s lights on national TV. That would get him more votes than anything else which might happen. And would be much more fun for everyone, except toryboy, of course.
But he’ll have a new trainset to play with in a couple of weeks.
We will all have to be very understanding about the massive tax hikes he is forced to introduce by the back door, as Thatcher and Major both did as soon as they took office. After all. We’re all in this together, y’know. Rich and Poor in patriotic union. Dunkirk Spirit and all that.
Sun headline tomorrow?

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